AWESOME Ideas
by EqualDemise731
Summary: The dumbest thing to do is TRY to prank Russia. The STUPIDEST thing to do is TRY to prank Russia when you're drunk and your partner is also as crazy as you are!


HALLUR! Haha, I answered the phone like that this morning; then this idea exploded in my brain! This is a Prussia and Vash the Stampede Fic. Everyone knows who Vash the Stampede is right? Well if you don't then he is the badass gunslinger from Trigun. Love that show.

I wanted to write a fic about Prussia and Vash doing something stupid together so now this fic. Exists! ENJOY!

* * *

"Ah, there's my psychopathic prey!" Gilbert whispered with delight trying not to be so loud. He crawled slowly on his belly to the Russian who was sitting on the grass reading. "HAHA, got cha' ass now Russia!"

A pipe crashed down on the albino's face. Russia chuckled at Gilbert's bloodied nose.

"What the hell! Why did you have to use that unawesome pipe!" Going off in a rant Gilbert stuffed a tissue up his nose.

"Prussia you are too slow, da?" The Russian stepped on Gilbert's foot. "Have you came here to become one?"

"Oh to hell with that!" Gilbert made a break dashing down the same direction he came. Russia smiled and waved.

"SchieBe! I need back up! And I know who! Kesesese!"

* * *

"Damn Russia. I'd kick your ass if you weren't creepy." Gilbert impatiently paced back and forth. The phone rang. "Hallur?"

Gilbert nearly went deaf when his brother started yelling at him. "Jesus West! I didn't know he was afraid of bees!" A pause. "WELL THE AWESOME ME WILL APOLOGIZE TO YOUR BOYFRIEND LATER!" Another pause. "What. You guys are already coming back? That's just around the corner, so why did you have to call then?" There was a knock at his door "Gotta Goooo."

"Damn it bruder, the awesome me is behaving." Gilbert opened the door.

A serious looking tall man in a crimson trench coat, with spikey blonde hair stepped into the door way. Orange circular shades reflected Gilbert's face impeccably.

"Hey! Glad you can make it! Come on in! Kesesese"

Breaking the serious act, he flung off his yellow-orange circular shades "GILBERT, LONG TIME NO SEE! WOW look at this place, its HUUUUGGEEEE! Damn I'm hungry. Anything to eat?"

Then both started to laugh like someone told a good joke.

"Bruder, who is this?" Germany emerged through the front door, holding a shaking Italy. "Is this one of your friends?"

"Don't worry little bruder!" Gilbert slung an arm around his brother's shoulders. "This is my badass friend. West, I'd like you to meet **Vash the Stampede**."

Germany looked at Vash standing next to the hall table waving by wiggling his fingers. The memory of the last friend Gilbert brought over still troubled the German. A weird kid with very stretchy limbs and a straw hat caused a catastrophic melt down for Romano and Turkey. It was hell.

"Hello, I'm Ludwig, und this is Felincio." Germany introduced with human names. Italy seemed happy to meet the tall guy.

"Luddy, I'm going to make some pasta!" Italy released his grip from Germany and skipped into the kitchen. "Vee~"

"Well we're just gonna go hang out in the backyard, mmk West?" Gilbert pushed his tall spikey blonde friend down the hall.

"Aw I'm still hungry."

"Oh, Gilbert, please don't plan anything stupid again." Germany rubbed his forehead, and walked into the kitchen, to Italy's disaster. "Italy!"

"Okay, now I called you over here to help me take down that unawesome silver haired, Ru- erm."

"Ru-erm?"

"Unawesome silver haired, Ivan… heh?" Smooth Gibert.

"Ooooooh!"

Gilbert left a small trail where he paced back and forth trying to come up with a plan. "Oh, I got it! This will be and awesome plan. Really awesome."

"Ghwat, evs zit?" Vash was stuffing his face with muffins that he snagged from a little yellow bird.

"TO WEST'S CAR!"

* * *

Arriving at a large house just outside Moscow Gilbert managed **not** to wreck after him and his accomplice had a long night of little too much to drink. Yeah, way too much, like stopping at two bars and raiding a liquor store.

"Og-kay, *hic* wut wus we surpooose ta dur?" Vash was heavily slurring. Barely making out of the passenger side.

"Haha! Yuu cun nut helds your liquour." Gilbert staggered out the driver side holding a large bottle of whiskey. "Ey, I is not a Wh-isker gal, buuurt, ugh- vut was I speeeaaaking?"

"Uh, *hic* da plun?" With a goofy smile Vash face planted on to the car windshield.

"Oh, yea, yeh."

"Where are weeeee?"

"Ey, lack! Der's that rushy's do-er!" Gilbert tugged a nearly passed out Vash to the front door.

"Wut we duning Gilb?" Vash was unsure of the situation. All he saw was two giant doors. And a door bell.

"Sahbore oop mon!"

Gilbert pushed the tiny white button. Barely making out the ringing sound, the Prussian carelessly shove his accomplice into the door, then jumping in the snow covered bush.

"Yes, may I help you sir?" A short brown haired man answered the door.

"Well Hallur, little gurl, is Ya Dah-dah home?" Vash somehow put on a grey beard and patted the 'little gurl's' head. (LOL)

"Excuse me?"

"Hey, don't use that tone with me young lady!"

"S-sir, I'm not a woman. My name is Toris."

"Aw, Madame Toris, may I speak with the land lord? I am here with a serious message about mutated lice rampaging this part of *hic* this vast city" Again, somehow Vash pulled out an umbrella putting over Toris' head. "This'll keep ya warm."

"Oh? Uh, w-well I will have to ask you to leave, um Mr?" Toris tried to close the door but the blonde in a beard stopped it with his boot.

"HerkissesAlot, ALOT. **Mr**. HerkissesAlot, ALOT. And what was your name little gurrrl?"

"Leaaave." The shorter man shoved the door close. He could still hear the strange man making a ruckus on the other side. Embarrassed by the comments the stranger said, Toris looked into the nearby hall mirror. "Do I really look like a girl?"

"What was that Lithuania?" Toris jumped when Russia's cold voice filled the now more awkward air.

"Uh n-nothing." Russia gave his signature creepy smile. Toris was sure that he heard 'kolkolkol' in the Russian's suspicious stare.

"Who was at the door?"

"Ah, i-it was j-just a strange man."

* * *

_MEANWHILE BACK AT THE LAIR 'CAR' (aka Russia's front yard)_

"AW MAN, I FRICKEN GOT HIM!" Vash was celebrating by drinking another bottle of whiskey.

"THAT WASN'T RUSSIA YOU IDIOT!" The red eyed man threw snow at the drinking bloke.

"Russia? We are in Russia. I thought you wanted some guy called Evon, Evan, Josie… No, that wasn't it…. Ivan, that's the name!" Vash drank most of the bottle, returning to his drunken stage.

"Oh, uh yeah, Ivan. BUT THAT WAS THE GUY WHO WORKS FOR IVAN."

Gilbert pulled out more bottles of liquor. After a few minutes, both men were equally wasted, again.

"Ah, HAHAHA! So then I wus lick, huh-no little fella, cun't go fish rading toda-week!"

"Ah, I'm soooooooo durrrm Usaaam!" Gilbert slapped his thigh and started laughing like he was victorious.

"Privet comrades. Did you both come here to become one with Mother Russia, or-" Russia was cut off but Gilbert's attempt to throw the bottle, which instead was flung backwards into the driver window.

"SHIT! THE VEST IS GONNA KILL MEH!" (LOL, the vest)

"AH, HAHAHAHAH" Vash's signature laugh erupted. Gilbert started laughing.

Russia was really confused. Looking at an albino and a weird guy with orange glasses Russia stopped his creepy smile and looked at the two idiots laughing over a broken window. _Who is the guy with the orange glasses?_

Retreating back inside, Russia decided he didn't want to handle two people with an annoying laugh.

"Privet, Germany, this is Russia."

"Oh, hello, May I help you with something?"

"Da. Prussia and his colleague need your assistance. Will you get them off my property or they'll both face consequences."

A short pause.

"I'll be there soon."

"Ve~ Luddy, who are you talking too?"

"Italy stop hugging me."

"Aw"

"Well see you later Germany, Da?" Russia chuckled at the slight interruption. Hanging up the phone, Russia looked out the window, to see the two stooges, still laughing, and patting each other's back.

"Who gets wasted off whiskey?"

* * *

Well thanks for reading this silly fic. Please review. And other stuff.

Well its funny watching people act like idoits while drunk. And I wasn't sure if I should name alcohol or not. So I kept it rated T.


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